Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

The Obnoxious Student

Posted: May 1, 2012 in Uncategorized

It’s 8:00 in the morning, you’re barely alive, probably hungover and sitting in class. You would give anything for it to just be quiet for the next 50 minutes. You have a pretty laid back professor so there is hope you won’t have to kill yourself before class ends. Then they walk in. That one student that’s in almost every college class. This is the student who has a quota on how many words he/she has to say each day. This is when you should just get up and go back to bed. 

Everyone has dealt with someone like this. The Student has a comment after everything the professor says. They sit there for an entire class and argue after every point anybody makes. Meanwhile you’re sitting there, barely able to understand the English language this early in the morning, and trying to think of good places to hide the body. 

In all honesty, what is it with these people? What makes them be so incredibly annoying? Arguing with college professors is the most pointless idea ever. They could literally put a slide show of their stamp collection of the screen and keep their job; I don’t think they are concerned with what some kid whose name they’ll never learn really thinks about their interpretation of Shakespeare. 

How do these kids not see every student in the class shaking their heads and rolling their eyes? Shouldn’t you be allowed to just backhand these kids? It’s not very likely that anyone in class is paying two hundred and thirty six thousand dollars a semester to hear what you think. 

So please people, go to class, sit down and shut up. The students do not really care about what you think unless you’re writing the final. Everyone just wants to go to class and daydream in peace; they don’t need to hear you freaking out about your view on evolution.


The Back In

Posted: April 12, 2012 in Uncategorized

Nothing like having to pass up a prime parking spot because someone decided to back their car into about 4 spots. You get to spend the next fifteen minutes cruising around some parking lot listening to traffic reports and commercials for teen night at some club while that driver is twirling their keys and loving life.

You whip it right in there, slurping on your iced cappuccino singing the new Adele song with tears in your eyes. Between all this you somehow don’t notice your Toyota is practically perpendicular with the parking lines. I know those mirrors on the side of the car can be confusing but they are there to help.

Shouldn’t there be a test you have to pass before you’re allowed to back-in to a spot. I say you should be required to complete at least 20 successful back-ins before you’re allowed to perform one in an actual parking lot. Keying all cars that cross the lines should be mandatory.

This isn’t in any way directed towards any particular gender, it’s just as common to see some massive pick up truck taking up 3 spots as it is to see a cute little cobalt. The point is that if you can’t back-in, don’t back-in. If the concept of placing an object between two straight lines is too confusing for you, maybe you should be taking the bus.